When You Think Dreams Come True

Have you ever pushed yourself so hard to reach a dream? PA school has been my dream for the last two years, and yet, as I'm on the cusps of making decisions, things remain blissfully agonizing. 

If I rewinded myself back to last year, I can imagine thinking -- what are you doing? You're in such a blessed situation. You've already interviewed at these many places? Your dream schools? You have multiple offers? 

But now, I find my thoughts going more towards this: I'm not educated enough to make a decision. How can I weigh so many different factors? There's no perfect school out there, even though each is amazing in its own way. How do I know what's best for me?

So, today marks the day. The day I turned down a school's acceptance offer -- even though it offered me $10K less in debt, a scholarship covering a really cool rotation (Native American reservation, Scotland, anywhere?), and a graduate assistantship. I never thought it would be so painful, emotionally and mentally, and yet my heart was at peace. No matter that it took over an hour looking at the beautiful paperwork, turning away, then picking up the pen -- then asking more friends for a confirmed second (or more like fifth) opinion.

Let me tell you -- it's easier to face things down from a distance. But throw yourself in the thick of it, and you'll find yourself. You'll discover who you are, and may be pleasantly surprised. (Or the opposite). Regardless, it's another life experience to tack on.

So although I'm quite disillusioned and am not nearly as brave as I think I am, I'm reminded that it's all worthwhile. These cliches about dreams don't just come from nowhere. So rather than dramatizing about the unknowns of where I'm living, I'm taking it a step at a time. Two more interviews this month, and I'm sure my heart will tell me where I need to be.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Henry David Thoreau

Being an Artist: Dealing with Creative Failure

For all you creative beings out there, we've all experienced it: that moment when we don't feel like anything good is happening, and when we try to force it, it turns out terrible and makes you feel even worse -- like a creative failure. 

I call it the "creative rut" -- where I'm stuck and all I do is complain (yesterday was one of those days, and I felt thankful that I had another part-time job to go to). Thanks, friends, for sticking it out with me. 

Here are a few options when you hit one of these creative blocks:

Take a break. 
When artists get in their creative mode, and take charge and work like there's anything else worth living for. . well, it's going to hit a stop point somewhere along the road. About 74.593% of the time, this works for me. Whether it's half an hour, or a week, this effective method can recharge you like nothing else, and you'll be freshly inspired. 

Try a different creative-something. 
Do something that's not your usual style, and don't feel pressured for it to turn out a certain way. I normally paint, and I'll try illustration or calligraphy. Get that sketchbook filled!

Explore other artists and their work. 
Looking at other people's paintings and art always puts my artistic mind into perspective. Remember things that you like and want to incorporate into your work, and learn from the stuff you don't like. Browsing others' art inspires me to keep going -- that so many possibilities exist for exploration. Instagram is a great source! This'll help guide you in your next work when all those ideas start flowing again. 


What is your experience with creative failure? Would love to hear if anyone has other methods for dealing with this nuisance!