How do you say good-bye? (Part 1)

Leaving my first [somewhat] real-world job. Last Friday was my last day.

It's bittersweet. Joyous. Depressing. Freeing. Nostalgic. I feel like Rapunzel in the Disney movie Tangled, when she first leaves her tower with Eugene, running around with alternating moods of happiness and horror. Quite the emotional experience.

It's liberating in the sense that you have one less obligation in your life, but scary in that my routine is different along with the coworkers and residents I usually encounter. 

I'm officially done with the two longest jobs I've held in my life: a year and a half (chemistry lab job, and 7 months (as a CNA). It's not that long, I know, but it all had accumulated in my being. Being done with college (yes, I realize it's only been two and a half years) is a strange thought.

(at the memory care side of where I work with dementia residents)

On my last day, I told Mrs. S (a resident from my experience here) that she wouldn't be seeing me here anymore. That I was studying abroad in Italy. She was lying in her bed, our faces a mere six inches apart. To my horror, I noticed redness and puffiness around her eyes. To make things worse, she softly said, "I don't want to cry."
As a girl who has moved approximately twelve times in her twenty-year-old life, the feeling that formed in the pit of my stomach surfaced and I felt my eyes ready to tear up for the first time in years over missing someone.
I naturally comforted her (and myself): "It'll be okay. I hate saying good-byes, too. And I've only been here a short while -- someone else will be here to take care of you." I even tried to laugh it off, saying, "You'll forget about me soon enough."
Looking straight at me, she says with complete seriousness, "It's not a good-bye. It's only a so-long."
At those words, I felt my heart melt a little. 

Because here's a tidbit about me - since I've graduated high school, I have never once met up or seen any friends from high school since graduation, despite my going back there over school breaks and weekends for my family. Once I started college, well, efforts were not made to revisit the past. This probably indicates the degree of my attitude about moving on in life...

College has changed me in many ways: one of which being that I've gotten close to several people, and it's actually going to be difficult to leave, even if it is for Italy. 

Advice for leaving:

Don't think about the last time actually as the last time (unless you are truly celebrating the end because that's how much you dislike your job/this person/this place)

The more you think about while you're there, the greater the depression you will fall in. It's like you're sick and know you're going to throw up because you have the stomach flu, but constantly thinking about that nauseating feeling or envisioning yourself throwing up is only going to make it worse - compared to if you ignored the fact that you did feel nausea but you chose to play Jenga or read a book to take your mind off it. 

Look at the future more than the past. 

Hopefully, changes are occurring because of a better opportunity. Remind yourself of where you are going to next, rather than what you're leaving behind. When I dwell on all the things I will not be able to do anymore, a swoop of nostalgia falls in and I succumb to it. But when I think about my unknown adventure ahead, it's exciting and liberating that my current routine will completely change. 

Cameras Infiltrate Nursing Homes

The other morning I read this article from the New York Times: Watchful Eye in Nursing Homes.

[My friends often have called me an "old soul" but I looked into it for reasons beyond that. I currently work as a certified nurse aide (CNA) at a local assisted living facility. Always triggering deep thoughts.]

To sum it up, nursing home abuse has been brought to question. The story of an elderly lady's neglect was only revealed in truth due to hidden cameras placed in the room by the family - who became suspicious when items they bought for their mother suddenly disappeared. The video also revealed the nursing assistants abusing their mother verbally and physically. 

I'm not surprised, but calling attention to a specific instance makes it much more real to the rest of us. When I first started working, I became very conscious of the fact that we, who were being paid slightly above minimum wage, were entrusted with the very well-being of so many - often in one-on-one interactions. In some cases, care cannot be verified, since most of the work is done privately between the patient and aide. It's actually a really scary thought. 

You're letting your mom being taken care of by aides you may have never met. You're trusting the facility to hire caring, diligent aides. 

When I started training where I work now, I noticed little things  - even the most seemingly hardworking aide would occasionally skip steps, ie. not using toilet paper after the patient used the bathroom, not brushing their teeth before bed, etc. (The latter is a commonly skipped step due to inadequate staffing - which leads to even bigger problems of oral care and potentially causing death.)

In my opinion, however, this article is only bringing out a side effect of the major, long-lasting problem of inadequate staffing, especially nurse aides. Granted, purposeful abuse is difficult to detect already, but if facilities weren't so desperate for workers, well, it could be minimized simply by choice in candidates. 

{Here's a story: there exists two sides where I work - one being the independent assisted living, the other brig locked down for patients with Alzheimer's and dementia. One notorious aide used to work on the assisted living side - now she only works on the memory care side. Rumor has it that she has been rude and neglectful, refusing to help when asked. Family members complained. 

So why is she now on the side with those with dementia? Because they are unable to report it, due to their memory loss. When they do remember, other aides have told me of some complaints by residents: there is this aide that throws my clothes at me in the morning and yanks my arms, shouting at me to put them on.}

It's a complicated world out there, everyone. 

Adequate staffing would:

- lessen the amount of work per aide, allowing more time 

- more time means more mouth care, emotions care, one-on-one time

- lessen number of falls and accidents

- greater job satisfaction and patient satisfaction

- higher staff retention rate

- save costs on medication (when patients are agitated) 

You get the idea.

Cameras have never been implemented as a requirement, due to the ethical controversy over privacy. I think it's quite sad, though when such measures have to be taken to ensure quality care. What does that say about our system of healthcare and trust?

But when almost everything in this world is based upon profit - well, I'll leave it up to you to discern.